has been in my family since my childhood. He was used by my
(an amateur puppeteer) at the dinner table to encourage me
to eat my vegetables. This actually worked 'til age nineteen,
when I realized that Shifferstein was really a puppet and
not a licensed dietician.
I told my mother that I was leaving home in search of my destiny
as a Trivia Show Host, she replied "I knew this day would
come, my son. Do what you must to unite people of every walk,
color, age and culture, but take the monkey with you, for
I know he will serve you well!"
now serves as my Minister of Questionable Answers. If somebody
disagrees with my answers, I summon Mr.Shifferstein to settle
the matter quickly and completely. To question his final say
I DARE NOT DARE!! (and neither should you).
can read all the postcards from Mr. Shifferstein's
trans-Atlantic trip in the fall of 2001 here.
Also, please feel free to write him a note: firstname.lastname@example.org
a picture from Mr. Shifferstein's traumatic 1999 kidnapping.
I'm still too distraught to speak about it.
As part of a legal settlement, we are obliged to have a link
to Hugo's page. Hugo
is Mr. Shifferstein's evil cousin, who hijacked this website
for a traumatic two-week stint in November, 2000 and then
again in March 2001. May we never hear from him again!